Just like jewelry that needs a good cleaning to rid it of grimy buildup down in the crevices, every once in awhile it’s tine to refresh the energy in your personal space. That might be your office, your bedroom (if you share living quarters with roommates), your home/apartment, your car, any space that is yours.
Strong emotion, of any kind, leaves a bit of residue in a space. Clearing your space energetically might be scheduled seasonally (HEY! SPRING CLEANING!), bi-annually, or before those dates that are significant to you (high holy days of whatever spiritual practice you have, anniversary dates of events, and such); or, perhaps, when you have experienced something significant that depresses your emotions (relationship breakup, funerals, SATs).
Any time you feel stagnant in your life’s movement is always a good time to refresh your environment and bring in positive energy for your highest good.
Dementia robs quality of life as the brain’s synapses disintegrate.
Dementia is a soul sucking experience. It taxes you to the depths of your being forever altering how you approach relationships and live your life.
Several years ago I moved in with my Dad. He was 86, becoming forgetful, and behaving differently. It was apparent he needed help. This part of life’s journey was challenging for us both until his death at 93. We did the best that we could.
Coping with the physical changes is manageable, but the mental and emotional rollercoaster as the person with dementia and as a caretaker can, at times, be catastrophic!
As a caretaker your best coping tools for self-care are to:
Give yourself the gifts of patience and grace
Accept that there will be many things outside of your control and that you can’t do it all
Take breaks and accept offered help as appropriate
Know there will be an inevitable end to the situation
The person with dementia is under way more stress than you are for in the beginning phases they are aware they are declining. They are terrified and their emotions are all over the place. They will be battling such ideas that their body has failed them, the fears about what will happen to them if you are not there, guilt over putting their loved ones through this terrible situation, their inability to be in control of decision making over themself, and much much more.
As a caretaker, you too will go through extensive mental challenges. At first, if you’ve not experienced this before, you will experience frustration. Frustration with trying to do the right thing and not sure you are; not understanding that your person with dementia is not the same person they were; and feeling extremely isolated with just you and your loved one in a vacuum. The perception of isolation is real though not necessarily the reality. Most of the time family want to help, but are not sure how to go about it. Remember everyone is facing dementia when a family member is diagnosed.
Give the person with dementia the gifts of patience and grace extended through LOVE. In the end, love is what will help you both through this extreme situation. Remember life in this corporeal existence is not the end. When we die that is the beginning.
*Sharing our emotional and mental challenges with the hope this helps you cope if/when you find yourself in similar circumstances.
My Grandma was living with us at the time she died.
As usual, I arrived home from high school and the daycare lady left. As my younger siblings were still at school and both of my parents worked, I would care for Grandma until the rest of the family arrived home for the day. I would be preparing dinner or doing homework and intermittently check on Grandma as she rested in her bed. The second time I checked on her there was something wrong. I urgently telephoned my Mom and then dialed 911.
Firemen attended Grandma while I stood at the foot of the bed. There was an oxygen mask in place and the oxygen hissed unused into the room. The young Fireman asked the Fire Chief, “Should I turn off the oxygen?” The Fire Chief shook his head slightly and tilted his chin in my direction. The young Fireman flushed dropping his head slightly.
At the time I was unaware of what that meant. I stood there, holding the foot board. The atmosphere began to feel lighter and dense at the same time, almost like a cocooning, I felt hands on my shoulders and heard a woman’s voice near my right ear say, “Everything is fine. Everything will be okay.” I was now calm and let go of my worries.
I felt the hands fall away. I turned thinking it was my Mom, but no one was there. I stepped into the hallway to see where she went, but, again, no one was there. I hurried down the hallway towards the living room and heard running footsteps coming up the front walk. There was my Mom, rushing into the house! Those hands had been my Grandmother’s. She had calmly reassured me with a quiet certainty of the outcome.
The first lesson in metaphysics is always about protection and white light is a great tool to start using.
Whether you are an active energy worker or just living your life you should always protect yourself. This is a simple enough process, though some people feel more comfortable turning this into a complicated ritual, which is okay if that is what works for you.
Although there are many ways to protect oneself, this post is strictly about day-to-day protection.
1. Make it part of your morning routine — incorporate it into your morning get-ready-for-the-day efforts. 2. Keep it simple — As you wash your face, shower, or bathe take a moment to ground yourself and then connect with Spirit. As you connect pull in God’s/Spirit white light and coat yourself completely from head to toe. There you’re done! 3. Do it once every day 4. Always give thanks for your daily blessings.
It will become effortless with daily practice and take as much time as pulling down the blinds over a window.
I remember my first encounter with my Guardian Angel. I was about four years old.
My younger sister and I shared a bedroom in a small, two-bedroom home. My parent’s room was at the end of the hallway. At night my Mom put us to bed; my sister in a crib, me in a twin bed. She’d tuck us in, tell us she loved us, kissed us, and all was right in our world.
I began to have the uneasy feeling as if someone was scowling at us from the doorway. I would call for my Mom, terrified! She’d come in, reassure me that there was no one there, that I was safe, and to go to sleep. These events started slowly and then escalated to nightly occurrences. I could hear my parents discussing my paranoia and my Dad saying that I just didn’t want to go to sleep and was acting out for attention — a normal reaction by him in the circumstances.
Now I’m sensing an old man lurking there after my parents were asleep. I found out it wasn’t okay to wake them with tales of seeing someone leaning into the doorway to peer in at us. I was scared! What to do!?
I silently called for help!
I clearly heard a voice telling me, “I will protect you. Do you remember your Mother telling you about your Guardian Angel? I am your Guardian Angel.” I was reassured again and told to turn and face the wall, that everything would be okay. I remember hearing that this was a special moment and that I should treasure this memory.
I felt enveloped, as if in a safe and warm cocoon, while the voice addressed the hallway visitor. I could sense that brief exchange as if from a long way away and then I slept. I did not experience any further issues there after that.
I believe in Guardian Angels.
Epilogue
It was when I was an adult that I heard about the rest of the story.
It seems my Mom was experiencing things too. She’d hear noises in the attached garage and, when investigated, nothing was there. She’d do laundry in the garage and hear something in the house, again nothing there! Mom was becoming quite frightened and thought that someone was physically trying to scare her as these instances always occurred when my Dad was not home. As they never found anyone around when these experiences were going on, Mom started to believe it was something otherworldly. You can imagine my Dad’s reaction to that!
My parents had married young — Mom turned 18 and Dad 23 the month they were married. In two years they started their family. They didn’t have any experience with anything like a haunting. It was a hard idea to swallow for a young, formerly farmer, a now honorably discharged Navy mechanic that there was a ghost in their house.
Mom was gifted. She knew who was on the phone when it rang, knew outcomes before they happened, but she had been ridiculed when she spoke out. So, she kept her gift to herself. It took a lot for her to mention these occurrences to Dad. Now she was afraid to be left home alone with just the kids; Dad thought she was becoming irrational.
Mom wanted to call a priest to come bless the house. Dad said, “No!” He didn’t believe in ghosts and didn’t understand Catholic ways. He’s a very private person and didn’t want anyone in his house.
One night after getting ready for bed, turning off the lights, and settling in they heard footsteps. These footsteps were inside the house. They were coming down the hardwood floor of the hallway towards their bedroom door! Dad shot up into a seated position as the footsteps stopped in the doorway. There was no one there! After searching the house, there was no one else in the house, and the kids were asleep.Within a week a priest came to the house and blessed it. There were no more further visitations.
My parents then found out that the former owner had been an old man who had died in the house. I guess he was trying to figure out who the couple with the kids were who were now in his house. He liked being alone. I don’t think he realized he was dead.
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